


Country Road

by nebuvoid



Category: Devilman (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Comfort hug, Crying, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-29
Updated: 2018-03-29
Packaged: 2019-04-14 14:19:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14137809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nebuvoid/pseuds/nebuvoid
Summary: That boy deserved to have a good cry and get a hug.





	Country Road

**Author's Note:**

> check nebulous-void tumblr for more fic news and devilman headcanons and talks

"Akira, let's go!" 

Akira hastily shoved his school bag into Miki's hands. "Sorry Miki. You go home first, okay?" 

Ryo was already walking back towards his car. "Wait up!" Akira scrambled to catch up with his friend. Ryo didn't even turn his head when Akira caught up with him.  
"Ryo, what's going on? Why are you carrying a gun around?"

"I think my life is in danger. Shit hit the fan after you left, Akira."

They continued speedwalking as they talked. Akira tried his best to keep up with Ryo's longer legs. This wasn't like Ryo - he usually made sure to wait up for Akira, slowing his pace to a comfortable pace.

"In danger...? What happened? Ryo, what if the cops find out you're carrying a gun around?" Akira frowned. 

"My enemy is a lot scarier than the cops." 

"What?!" Akira's eyes widened in shock. Meanwhile Ryo's expression didn't change from its utterly neutral mask. Akira's heart clenched in worry.

"What...?"  
"Get in."

Ryo opened the car door for Akira and waved him inside. Akira hesitated.

"Hold up. Who's going to drive?"  
Ryo smiled. "I will."

"What? Ryo we're both not old enough to drive yet!"  
"I've made some changes to my dad's license for now."

Akira's frown deepened, but he still entered the car. Whether he drove in his parents car or the Makimura's he always sat in the back. He took a seat in the backseat as usual, without even thinking about it.  
Ryo raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything. He turned the ignition of the car and Akira felt anxiety churn in the pit of his stomach. He clutched the back of the front seat. 

"Ryo, we're going to get caught!"  
"Calm down, Akira. You won't be the one to be arrested."

Akira huffed but tried to relax a bit. It wasn't working. The whole situation was too bizarre. Ryo recklessly ignored the speed limit signs, the wheels of the car squeaking every other turn. Akira's grip on the seat tightened. 

"Don't go so fast! Seriously Ryo, are you okay? You've been really weird today."

Akira leaned forward, trying to make eye contact with his friend in the rear mirror. 

"I still can't believe you actually shot that gun. What if you injured someone?"  
"It wouldn't have mattered even if they died." Ryo's tone was monotone and detached.

Akira sighed heavily and leaned back into the backseat. There was no reasoning with Ryo right now, not in the state of mind he seemed to be in. Akira tapped his lower lip with his index finger, considering how to get through to his friend.

"My dad got transferred abroad for work about a month ago. My entire family left with him, but I wanted to continue my education here so I moved into Miki's household. I had to transfer schools because of that."  
At this point Akira was just thinking out loud, trying to make sense of things.  
"What happened to you during this one month? You've changed a lot. It's... well, I mean, it's not... It's not like it's wrong or bad to have changed or anything... but it feels so abrupt."

Ryo just drove on, not showing any external sign that he even heard what Akira said. Akira sighed again. Best to just wait out Ryo's mood, wait for him to start talking when he's ready. He leaned on his arm and looked out the window. The scenery was passing by too fast to distract himself with it.  
Stiff silence filled the car interior for a couple of minutes. 

"My father died!" 

Akira startled at Ryo's sudden outburst. His heart raced. "Wait, what?!"

Ryo continued, now in a more subdued tone. "Because of that I became totally alone. Now there's nothing left for me." There was a strangely wistful smile on his lips.  
Akira had had enough, things were just too weird. Clearly something awful happened, and he wasn't going to talk to Ryo about a topic like this while they raced down a country road. 

"He didn't die from illn-"

"Ryo, stop the car." Akira interrupted him midsentence. He could see Ryo's mask slip a bit, confusion shining through.

"I said stop the car. I'm not having this conversation with the back of your head."

"Akira, there's no time to spare."

"Ryo, stop the car!" 

Ryo's eyed widened. Akira never yelled like that. Ryo relented and slowed the car down to park it at the side of the road. He turned the ignition off and turned towards Akira.

"Alright, now what?"

"Get over here."

"...what?" 

"Ryo, get over here!"

"Alright already, geez."

Ryo obediently unbuckled his seatbelt and exited the car to join Akira on the backseat. He huffed and crossed his arms. Akira also unbuckled himself, put the seatbelt aside and turned his body more towards Ryo. He took a deep breath, tried to make eye contact with his friend.

"I didn't want to have this conversation like that. Obviously something awful happened and you're not okay." Akira hesitantly put his hand on Ryo's shoulder. "I'm here for you."

Ryo looked at the hand on his shoulder. He bit his lip. He was really trying to keep it together and Akira was ruining that right now. He rubbed his forehead, exasperated. He was so so tired. 

"Ryo?" 

"You're right. I'm not okay. Hah. I couldn't be further from being okay." He gripped his knees, his eyes unseeing. "My father, he killed himself. He committed suicide, Akira."  
Akira's gasp felt too big for the small inside space of the car. 

"Ryo..."

"He covered himself in gasoline and lit himself on fire."

Akira felt tears prickle in the corner of his eyes. "Did you... see it?"

Ryo's grip on his knees tightened until his knuckles turned white. "It seemed like he just kept pouring gasoline on himself till the very end. I saw it all. I can still hear his screams."

Akira felt Ryo's frame tremble under his hand. His chest clenched painfully in empathy for his friend. He wanted to pull him into a hug, but he could see Ryo wasn't done talking yet. He wanted to listen to what he had to say. Akira kept his hand on Ryo's shoulder, hoping it would help ground his friend a bit. 

"Do you...do you know why he did it?"

"He wanted to protect me." Ryo's voice got softer, scratchier. "He wanted to protect me from himself. He..." Ryo sniffed. He couldn't hold back the sob escaping his lips, and so his emotional dam finally broke. Heavy tears rolled down his cheeks. He looked up at Akira, he was clearly trying to tell him more, but all that came out his mouth where stuttered words and hiccups.  
Akira couldn't take seeing his friend this way. So helpless and full of grief. He quickly pulled Ryo into a tight hug. Ryo stayed unresponsive at first, his hands still digging into his knees, clenching his teeth to not cry out loud. But Akira patiently held onto him, rubbing Ryo's back insistently with his hand. 

"It's okay, Ryo. Let it out."

Ryo's face truly scrunched up in an ugly sob now. His chest trembled along with his weeping. He flailed his arms to return Akira's hug, grabbing tighly onto Akira's jacket.  
"I'm sorry Ryo, I'm so so sorry." Akira mumbled into his neck. He kept rubbing Ryo's back, hoping to comfort him at least a bit. With his other hand he carefully played with the long tufts of hair at the back of Ryo's neck. 

Ryo was full on crying now, his tears soaking into Akira's school uniform. Akira didn't mind though. Akira didn't really mind anything Ryo did. 

They stayed like that for 10, maybe 20 minutes. Ryo finally seemed to have calmed down a bit. Or rather, he cried himself completely dry. He was still hiccuping occasionally, but he wasn't shaking anymore.  
As his breathing completely evened out, Ryo pushed himself off of Akira. He rubbed at his puffy red eyes. They felt swollen and sore.  
"Hah. Hahahah. Sorry about that. How embarassing." He tried to laugh it off.  
Akira's refused to play along though. His expression stayed soft and understanding. "There's nothing to be sorry for, or to be embarassed over, Ryo."

He carefully bumped his shoulder with Ryo's. "Okay?"  
Ryo gave him a hesitant smile. "...yeah, okay. Thanks, Akira."

God, Ryo felt exhausted now. He hadn't allowed himself to cry like that in forever. Or ever, actually. And he hadn't been able to sleep decently for weeks now. Mostly he had just been drinking until he blacked out, in hopes of not having any night terrors this time.  
But after having a good cry, he felt like he could pass out any moment. Of course, Akira noticed.

"...tired?"  
"Exhausted."

Akira scootched more to the side of the backseat and patted the spot he left. "Come on, lie down for a bit. You shouldn't drive in your state, and I can't drive, so. Might as well rest a bit, hm? Yeah?" Akira blinked his wide hopeful eyes at him. 

Ryo really wanted to say no, they needed to go, now, stat, the demons could attack any minute, they needed to act now, but by god he was so exhausted of it all. And Akira's smile was like a warm comforting ray of sunshine on his darkly clouded mind. 

Ryo caved and tried to lay down on the backseat without actually touching Akira. He curled up as best as he could, but the top of his blonde head still made contact with the side of Akira's thigh. "Ah. Sorry."  
Akira rolled his eyes and huffed in amusement. "What are you doing? Put your head on my lab, you dork." He patted his lap in emphazis. "Come on. It's just as here. You just cried all over me for half an hour, do you really think this is any worse?" 

Ryo sighed. He wanted to protest, but he was too drained for that sorta nonsense. "Fine, fine." He scooted closer and gently placed his head on Akira's lap. "Happy?"  
Akira smiled down at him. "Very." 

Ryo closed his eyes quickly. He was in no state to handle Akira's sweet face this up close. As soon as his eyes closed, his body relaxed. Man, he really was exhausted. 

Akira hummed, pleased, and proceeded to softly drag his fingers through Ryo's hair. He gently scritched at his head, until Ryo's breath evened out again, and he had fallen asleep, and even then Akira kept petting Ryo's soft blonde hair. 

Akira was still worried, but he was glad he could help his friend at least a bit, by being there for him. He hoped so, at least. He looked out the car window, thinking of Mr Asuka, of what Ryo must've been through. Of what else he had missed in this one month. He was determined to be there for his friend, no matter what. 

They were going to be okay.


End file.
